There’s an indie film getting great buzz from people whose opinions you trust. This is the last day it’s playing at cinema in the Village. You have NO TIME TO DO THIS, but what the hell. You buy a ticket online for you and a friend. The friend makes reservations nearby for dinner. Go to the wrong theater. Ticket is QR code, no address. How many theaters are there on 12th St? Your friend is late, too. Same thing. After the theater, decide it’s too cold to walk across town to place she made reservations. The restaurant around the corner can take you, good! As the entree comes, realize you’ve lost your bracelets. You love those bracelets! They must have fallen off when you took off your gloves at the theater. (You’re old! You wear gloves!) After dinner, go back to the theater where ticket-taker lets you back in, to look for your bracelets in the dark. You find your aisle. Yay! It’s empty. You get down on your knees and shine your iPhone on the floor, resisting the urge to switch it to flashlight mode–you don’t want its klieg lite to disturb viewers seated around you. (What must they think you are doing? No matter. It’s NYC.) Your bracelets are nowhere. You pat and pat the filthy floor under the seat you were in. Suddenly, movie dialogue/music goes quiet and robotic voice shouts from your hand “I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR!” It’s Siri. On high. You never use her and don’t know how to turn her off in a hurry. You stand and bolt from the theater before she speaks again. You give the ticket taker your card and ask him to look for your bracelets after the lights come up. You go home. On a table by the front door, so you wouldn’t forget to put them on before leaving–there are your bracelets.
